still cant believe this is real life. its not even that bad. why cant i have paretns who understand haha i sound like a normal teenager but seriously taking away my phone and car for two monnths is insanely unfair. I actually dont even mind them doing that because they watnt to feel like their punishing me and doing something right but what they dont understand is im never going to do it again so they have nothing to worry about. Its not fair that ive been sucha good kid up to this point and i make a couple stupid mistakes all in one day and its all gone. Like i said i could care less about the material things being taken away but the gerneral atmosphere in my house and with my parents is what gets me depressed. Im the same kid they knew and loved before the other friday night and they can trust me just as much. I fucking took money from my moms wallet and i dont even fucking know why. It wasnt even for what they thought i just wanted to have some cash in my wallet. Then the smoking thing isnt even a bad thing at all they just dont understand how its not that big of a deal. There are no bad effects so if they litterally just told me never to do it again and even though i like it i would respect them and never do it again, but its really hard to respect someone when theyre an asshole to you. When i have 30 minutes of homewokr and im just watching an episode of television and you come down and make me stop it just to go upstairs and do it… fuck you. And im not a violent person although the fact that they think that im a pot head and i know they keep denying it but they do, i honeslty wanted to punch a wall when my mom had to watch me play fucking basketball. YOU FUCKING KNOW ME. i know i messed up once but seriousy? thats pathetic. i dont understand why they are so worked up i just cant wrap my head around it. I think i figured it out and they are upset im not allison. its hard not being the favorite child because even though you do try in schoool and apply yourself, they use excuses like “you need to try more” as a way of telling you youre stupid cause hey guess what moma and dad I DO FUCKING TRY. I WORK MY ASSS OFF. just caus eyou dont physically see me doing it, I WORK HARD. i am one of the best kids at my school and dont do anyhting bad and am one of the most trustworthy kids you will ever meet, and yet im treated like someone who isnt any of that. MY friends have explained to me how bad i have it and how i dont deserve any of this. I agree i dont deserve this at all. I deserve to be punished for my stupid actions and i take responsab ility for them. they were not right, stupid, and yes i broke your trsut. But seriously making a dumb mistake for greedy reasons is not a reason to think that i cant have your trust in any other subject. It s not my fauly you arent happy. youre doing that to yourself. Im happy. Im trying to be happy at least. I asked holly to pray for me, not becasue of my mistakes, because they were dumb and will never happen again, but because of how much hell you parents of miune are putting me through. Its when i walk downstairs and we glare at each other. its the silent car rides. I dont even know what i feel because half of me is pissed out of my mind that you guys dont know what youre dealing with so you automattically go off punish me for 2 FUCKING MONTHS, and get upset over something that was a mistake, not a huge one like you retards think, but can and will be moved on from. THe only thing keeping me from being happy, is you. and no offense, will always be you. MY school life is the only time during the day im happy. i come home knowing i get to be looked at in disapointment and distrust. like you guys think im oging to go off at any moment and smoke pot even though ive only done it one other time to try it, and this time to get away from none other than…..wait for it …. YOU. Half of me hates you, and half of me wants to go back to how things were. but for us to do that we have to move on which is another thing you dont wanna do. so in the end.. you guys are the reason im depressed. Bye.